Saturday, July 30, 2011

Meeting my biological Father's side of the family

If I have learned anything at all during the course of this trip, I've learned to never assume that you know the whole story. Everything John told me about his family left me in complete shock. The crazy stories never came to an end. I tried so hard to overlook all of their flaws, but found it extremely hard.

I was raised in a very good family. I was taught never to look down on anyone or treat someone with less respect than they deserve. I tried to apply these values while meeting John's family...but I found it hard to respect people that didn't seem to have very much respect for themselves. What I find even more sad is, I hardly even know the family well enough to form an opinion of them. I've constantly been questioning my motives for my way of I being too harsh? Too critical?

What is even more pitiful? My biological mother has been preparing for my visit for months, and has worked very hard to make sure that her house was spotlessly clean and in order. She even bought a new car the day before my arrival because she said, she "didn't want such a special girl to be riding around in a crappy car." As for John's family? They made no efforts to make me feel comfortable or at home at all.

It broke my heart to hear bad things about John's family. I waited eighteen years to meet them...eighteen years. I guess they couldn't comprehend that I don't care about their past..I only wanted to get to now them now, in the present. I waited my whole life to meet a family I had always dreamed about, only to be disappointed.  

Another thing I've learned while being here? When you're searching for something or someone, make sure you prepare yourself for possibly being disappointed.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Only 2 more days!!!

I will be going to West Virginia in only TWO DAYS FROM NOW! I can't even explain all of the emotions that I am feeling right now. Should I even be this emotional? Is it normal to be feeling this way?

I'm not exactly sure whether I should be nervous, excited, or scared. Should I be nervous that I won't fit in with the rest of my biological family? Should I be excited to meet the families I have been dreaming about for eighteen years? Or should I be scared that after I leave West Virginia, we won't stay in contact?

Monday, July 25, 2011

Meeting my biological family for the first time...ever.

There's an old saying "you have to know where you came from to know where you're going". This week, I will decide for myself if that saying is really true. Eighteen years ago, I was adopted into the most wonderful family anyone could ever ask for. My birth mother and her family have always kept contact, sending me beautiful gifts and letters on my birthdays and holidays. I never knew that the woman that was sending me all of these gifts was my birth mother until I was thirteen years old. My adoptive mother didn't tell me that Sharon was in fact my birth  mother until I was a teenager because the the adoption agency told her that it wasn't uncommon for birth mothers to send their children gifts and suddenly stop. She was trying to protect me from getting hurt..but I never got hurt. The letters and gifts never stopped coming.

When I was sixteen, I met Sharon for the very first time. I was finally able to have so many questions answered that I'd been wanting to ask her for sixteen years. Sharon was only sixteen years old when she gave birth to me. My birth father, John, was the same age as her. After I was born, John and Sharon stayed together for over a year. After they broke up, they lost contact. I didn't know my birth father's name until I met Sharon. As soon as I learned his name, I started searching for him, and didn't stop searching for two years.

Here I am, just a few days before flying to West Virginia to meet my biological family, and we discover where John's family lives. Believe it or not, John's sister lives only 3 miles away from Sharon. I was shocked at this. After two years of searching, he was so close to Sharon, and we never even knew it. Yesterday, I talked to John and his family for the first time. It was life-changing. In less than three days, I will be meeting not only my biological family on Sharon's side, but also, John's side of the family. I couldn't be more thrilled.